The only word that probably can stir up all the emotions on the emotional spectrum – right from the seventh heaven to the lowest planes of hell, depending on how you see it.
The idea of marriage has gotten quite the make over in the last few years, with a cocktail of glamour, intricately planned sequences and drone shots eclipsing not only the real essence of marriage but also the new beginning that comes with it.
I was always told (and also sometimes believed) that someday when I’m ready to take that plunge, the tradition train will come along and I’ll be happy to get on if not under family pressure then due to being finally possessed by the swanky ghosts of bridal pomp.
But I couldn’t help but wonder, what after that perfect designer delusion of flowers, friends, fendi et al? What about the story that begins after?
I got married a year and a half ago, in court. It took no more than 10 minutes, and I couldn’t be happier. But everytime I see pictures of big weddings, I can’t help but wonder, is there something I’m missing out on simply because I’m incapable of feeling all those emotions associated with marriage? To me it’s just a legal reassurance for society so they’d let my boyfriend(now husband) and myself live together peacefully.
I’m not going to lie though, even though we have been together for many years, marriage does change things quite a bit. The change creeps in and blends in with all things familiar so seamlessly that you might not even realize it’s happening unless you pay attention.
My point is, a wedding doesn’t really have anything to do with a marriage. You can have the best wedding and end up with a messed up marriage. or the smallest, most modest wedding and still end up with a messed up marriage.
Marriage is about embracing the fact that neither you or your partner are going to remain the same forever, and also finding peace in routine. It’s about understanding and love, about emotions that lie deep within, it’s about vulnerability and strength, and most importantly, it’s about teamwork.
I don’t hate big weddings. They’re beautiful. The love, the laughter, and all the memories. All I’m saying is, if you’re looking to tie the knot soon, however you plan to do it, make sure you have thought it out completely. Don’t focus only on the wedding and not on the life after. A wedding isn’t a destination. It’s a doorway to a newer life. Make sure you’re ready.
Blog by Priya D’Silva.
M.A. in Sociology
B.A. in Sociology
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