Raising an introvert – What not to do.

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Parenting could be a daunting task. As beautiful as it is, it’s always terrifying to think – what if I’m not doing enough for my child? You want to give your children the world and to make sure they succeed and have the courage and confidence to make a name for themselves in this big, bad world. It is sometimes difficult in certain situations to understand what your child really needs. Every child is different. Understanding your child and giving them the right amount of confidence could be instrumental in your child’s ability to live a happy and healthy life.

If you’ve been following this blog and have read the posts, it probably won’t be a surprise when I say I’m an introvert. You’ve figured that out by now.

Throughout my life I’ve been an introvert but in varying levels of intensity. By that I mean, sometimes I found social situations easier than other times.Which is why a lot of people around me thought it was just me being moody. My introversion was just something I had learned to live with, also because at the time I was growing up, there wasn’t really a lot of awareness on things like this. I was always told I’m a shy child, and should be more confident, but I always knew that I wasn’t just shy, there was more to it.

I spent many years of my adult life secretly being resentful of people close to me for not being as compassionate towards my “shyness”. I thought even my parents didn’t understand me. I always felt that my social handicap has been the cause of many missed and lost forever opportunities in my life. It took me many years to understand that my parents did the best they could for me in their capacity and with the awareness that was available to them at the time.

One of the most important things when it comes to identifying an introverted child is how they respond to new people. If you notice your child being uncomfortable when taken to new places with new people, or not wanting to attend events or situations that are outside their normal routine, you may be raising an introvert.

A significant point to remember would be – to never force your child into social situations if they seem uncomfortable. Your child’s comfort and safety are of utmost importance. Talk to your child and try to understand the reason for the discomfort. Not all children like to socialise. Some are generally quiet or it may be possible that they are being bullied or if your child shows signs of discomfort around a particular adult be sure to stay alert and protect your child.

No matter how much you may feel like your child should toughen up and be more outspoken, never scold your child or make them feel like there is something wrong with them for being unable to easily socialise. Most introverts work best on their own, in surroundings comfortable to them. Remember, parents make up most of the child’s world and everything a parent says or does has a direct influence on the child’s mind and emotions.

People have the habit of pointing out shyness and most of the time unknowingly say or do things that may make your child more uncomfortable. Never let a person get away with making comments about your child’s looks, academic scores, abilities or even someone generally trying to lecture your child about being quiet. Stand up for your child. Never let a person get away with making your child uncomfortable just to be nice and not create a scene.

You may lead a busy life, but always remember to give your child your full attention. Introverted children tend to look to their parents and those very close to them for emotional support and as a parent you must make sure that it is always readily available to them. Just because your child spends a lot of time alone doesn’t mean they don’t need you around.

Try as much as possible to let your child know that it is okay to not want to be around people all the time if they don’t want to. Let them know that it is okay to not want to speak sometimes and just listen. Don’t force them to have opinions or to voice their opinions in situations that they are uncomfortable in.

Encourage their hobbies and talents and appreciate them for the good work that they do. Understand that it may be hard to engage in social situations sometimes and always give them adequate appreciation whenever they do so. Let them know that you are always there and that you understand them. Don’t take their efforts for granted.

They may not always be vocal about how they feel but as a parent you must make sure they know that they are worthy individuals capable of achieving whatever they want in life. You as a parent are a large part of their world and your love, support, guidance and acceptance are what will help them lead a successful and independent life. Don’t leave them to deal with things all alone, especially when it comes to dealing with people.

Introverts are really no different from anyone else. It’s just that most of us find peace alone. Let’s just say things like socializing aren’t top priority for us. If your child is an introvert it in no way means that he/she will fall behind in life. Introverts thrive in their personal space.

I hope this article was able to help you pick up a thing or two about introversion, and wish you all the love and luck as you raise minds that will make the future of the world we live in.

Blog by Priya D’Silva.


M.A. in Sociology

B.A. in Sociology



This blog is in no way a substitute for medical advice. All opinions here are based on personal experience and may not apply to or resonate with everyone. You alone and no one else are the best judge of your condition and the severity of it. Do not hesitate get medical advice and treatment from a certified medical professional if needed to lead a happier and healthier life.

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