Your child is NOT you.

Image by kalhh from Pixabay

When it comes to dealing with children, one thing unites us all. The fact that we all have some experience there, having ourselves been children at a point in our life. Growing up, most of us have been in situations where we are misunderstood or unintentionally pressurized to live up to certain expectations.

When it’s our turn to raise children, we somehow don’t seem to make use of that experience to be able to understand our children better.

To raise a child, is to raise a whole new human being. A person whose actions and thoughts will influence the world we live in, in some way or the other. It is therefore, the most important and the most delicate task we will ever undertake.

Many of us make the mistake of pushing our unachieved dreams onto our children. It may be purely out of love and concern that we want nothing but the best for our children and feel that they must achieve much more than we ever have. But here’s the thing. Yes, you gave birth to your children. They exist because of you. The life they have is because of you – but they are NOT you.

I strongly believe that every person is born into this world with a purpose. When we arrive here, we learn, we explore, and more often than not, are guided into finding the answers to questions, some that we are in search of and to some, that weren’t our questions at all in the first place. There is a fine thread between leading and imposing in a way; and for most of us, our purpose is imposed upon us.

A child is a completely separate person. Your children are not an extension of you, neither are they here to complete you. They are individuals. We must therefore, allow them to grow towards their purpose, and develop their own personality, as opposed to trying to form one for them.

What happens when we do that is that we form a personality for our children and their true self is suppressed somewhere deep within. At some point in life this true personality will try to come out, causing confusion, frustration and leaving them with a feeling that they don’t know who they are anymore.

The world doesn’t always remain the same. It is constantly changing. The world we grew up in, changes considerably by the time we are ready to raise children of our own. We need to teach them to be able to make their own judgements and decisions based on the world that they are growing up in. They need to adapt to their surroundings.

A lot of times in society, I have heard people having reasons to be proud of or disappointed with their children. They are proud of their children’s achievements, or they are disappointed in their children because didn’t meet their expectations. When you give birth to new life, you just love them because they are yours. You don’t look for reasons in this material world to be able to do so.

Every child is an individual, and must be taught respect by giving them respect. Children mustn’t be treated as though they have to respect you just because you got here before them. Treat them with as much respect as you would treat any adult. It not only builds self confidence but teaches them that giving respect is not subjective to one’s status, achievements or age.

May we learn to accept and allow, and create a world where people are less pressured and more assured. A world of individuals who know themselves, and know how to respect differences.

Blog by Priya D’Silva


M.A. in Sociology

B.A. in Sociology



This blog in no way imposes thoughts or opinions on it’s readers. This blog is in no way a substitute for medical advice. All opinions here are based on personal experience and may not apply to or resonate with everyone. You alone and no one else are the best judge of your condition and the severity of it. Do not hesitate get medical advice and treatment from a certified medical professional if needed to lead a happier and healthier life.

2 thoughts on “Your child is NOT you.

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